Friday, June 5, 2009

I guess I'm a pessimist

I usually consider myself an optimist, but after deciding to write this post, I may not be. I have a bone to pick with "well, you tried you're best, so it's fine." I hate that I find myself saying that to my kids. At some point I guess I might, if I had to and only to make people feel better and only in certain situations kind of believe it. Here's the reason why I don't buy it (humiliation on the line again...) When I was a junior in high school I tried out for the varsity song leader squad. I cheered on JV that year and I liked it a lot and really wanted to be a song leader. The song leaders at our school were good, like really good, like went to competitions and got first place good. It was serious business. I had friends that had been song leaders in previous years and they danced their tails off, it was a joy to watch. So I went to the audition and it was really hard. I thought I held my own though. By that time in my life I had been dancing for almost ten years. I could remember a routine pretty well on short notice. The dance was fast, really fast, but I felt good about it, in fact you could say that I did the best I possibly could. There were a few other things in the tryout, I don't remember specifically, but just more testing of abilities. At the end of the audition I got cut. I was absolutely devastated. I mean I hadn't felt that upset by anything for a really long time and quite honestly I don't know if I have since (that's actually kind of weird). Anyway I was a wreck. I went home and cried my eyes out to my mom. The very, very worst part was that I knew I did my best, there was nothing left to give, I gave it all, but was it enough? Not even close, I didn't make it through the first cut. It just sucks to know that no matter what you do, you come in about 20th place. Such is life I guess, but you won't catch me throwing around the" you did your best" without some serious peer pressure...

I meant for this post to be funny, turns out it just sounds grouchy huh?
This is not a woe is me post either, I was just thinking about it the other day. I often hear you did your best on TV and it makes me laugh.

3 comments:

Kawowski said...

You were probably just too good and they didn't want you to embarrass the other girls, I'm sure that's it!

Brittany said...

There definitely are times in life when I look back and think, what more could I have done? And I don't really know if there was more I could have done and I think in a way that can be frustrating. It is almost easier when I can say well I probably could have just tried harder and then that would have turned out better. Did something happen to bring up these feelings though?

Mandy said...

I don't like it when people make excuses for me. Like when I know I could have done better. I think it's a really good feeling when you know you've done your best. (Sad when it's not enough, but you won't be judged on what you could have done but didn't when you've given your all.) Does that make any sense??? My thoughts were clearer in my mind than out loud in Primary on Sunday too.